She Wanted It


Sky, activation date December 1, 2016

I am glaring at the elf a little more each day as December 1st approaches. It came to be here simply because my daughter wanted it. We could say she earned it by not fighting too tenaciously against having some teeth pulled at the dentist. But we know she was getting it regardless. When you have a childless uncle who likes to spoil you, this can happen. He can go out and pay $39.95 plus tax on what is essentially a creepy little doll. She is just turning nine and has desperately wanted an ‘elf-on-the-shelf’ since she was somewhere around 3 yrs. old, when they first arrived on the market. They were showing up at her friend’s homes committing all sorts of mysterious and hilarious acts while they slept. I stubbornly refused to submit to this new sick fad. I was labeled a, “Grinch”, and told, “Just let her be a kid”, by evil, Christmas-loving elf supporters; a.k.a, friends and family.

I did a little research while at Chapters to discover you can buy a cutesy ballerina outfit for the girl, priced at $13.95+tax.  There is an alternative outfit for her, (same price), and one for the boy elf, (same price). There is a little tin suitcase containing three shirts priced at $19.95+tax. There are even pets: a St. Bernard, ($33.95+tax), a reindeer (same price), and an outfit for the reindeer, ($13.95+tax). There is also some kind of, ‘elves at play kit’, which I believe is a book for parents with tips on crap to do with the elf, ($33.95+tax). I, for one, will not be buying any of these add-ons. Surprise!

No, No, No, No, no, no, no, NO!!

I can think of better things to spend my money on; let’s call them ‘needs’. One of these needs might be, I dunno,… food? Or maybe rent? It would also be lovely to contribute to one of the many wildlife conservation efforts you can read more about in my post, “Naturally Giving”.

Whoever invented this is pausing every 5 feet to do a little jig on their way to the bank. In fact, I think I saw something about a mother and daughter team in the back of the elf book. Which touches my heart slightly, because of my close relationship with my own daughter. And I’d be lying to say we wouldn’t enjoy daydreaming a little about becoming zillionaires ourselves. But that’s just a little sliver of myself that isn’t appalled by the entire concept.

What’s worse, while at the dreaded teeth-pulling appointment, I had a picture of the elf on my phone to flash at my daughter if she needed some incentive to get her through the procedure. The dentist and dental assistant were curious to know more about it. By the end of my little show-and-tell, they were both convinced it would be the perfect thing to get their nieces/nephews/ and grandchildren for Christmas. I felt torn between feeling helpful, and ashamed for promoting something I don’t believe in.

Am I knocking the creators of the elf? Not exactly. It is maybe even genius, and perhaps I am even a little jealous of them for coming up with such a creative fortune-maker.

Maybe this year I can get over myself, and have a little fun with the freaky little beastie, (elf), while putting a smile on my girl’s face. Besides, next year I am quite certain she will be past believing in this kind of thing.

And as a closing thought:


But that’s none of my business


2 responses to “She Wanted It

  1. I am with you!!! I hate the little beast doll. It’s just creepy. Who wants some little doll staring at you all day. Then you HAVE to remember to move it before your kid wakes up, or all hell brakes loose. Nope nope nope. That is not the spirit of the season for me.

    Liked by 1 person

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